


A place to call our own

by MrsKnightleysDays



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Gallavich, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-03-03 17:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 7,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2858843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsKnightleysDays/pseuds/MrsKnightleysDays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: <br/>"theres a certain place Ian and mickey always go to hang out. could be the baseball dugout or abandoned building or somewhere new. just show all the different scenes for the times they've spent there, but like without any connecting scenes, so the whole fic only takes place in this one place. you could show how their relationship changes just through the times they spend there. like maybe they start off just going there to fuck but eventually start hanging out there together just to have fun or 'dates' (that mickey wouldnt call dates). could be canon or AU" <br/>Totally Canon</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The redhead and the greasy black-haired bad boy walked up to the playground. Both looked around, but it was clear that the area had been abandoned for a few hours. Some people, it seemed, observed the rule that the playground was off limits after dark.  
Even though there was no one on the playground, and there were no houses visible from where they stood, Mickey still felt like having sex behind an elementary school was a little weird. If it were his elementary school, he'd do it because fuck the teachers there. But he'd never even been to this school before. He had nothing against them, but more importantly, he had no idea if the cops stopped by here much.  
"You sure this is safe, Gallagher? Couldn't we be, like, arrested as sex offenders or some shit?" Mickey Milkovich might have been a greasy haired thug, but some things scared even him. At the top of that list was getting caught fucking some guy. He loved being with this boy, of course, there was no better feeling in the world, but he didn't want anyone else to know about it. He wasn't really gay, he just...liked having sex with guys. Or at least with this one guy in particular. He couldn't really explain it. At any rate, he definitely couldn't let his dad find out what was going on. There was no doubt in his mind that Terry Milkovich would kill him if he ever found out that his son was gay.  
"Not safe? That's never stopped you before." Ian Gallagher grinned. Mickey knew that it was a challenge, and he had never backed down from a challenge before. As much as he feared getting caught, he was pretty sure that the Gallagher kid wouldn't have brought him there if it wasn't safe. Mickey wasn't the only one who wouldn't want to be caught. This kid was in ROTC, which probably meant that he wasn't allowed to be gay or something like that. And even though Mickey wasn't exactly sure how ROTC worked (or even what the letters stood for), he was sure enough that he wasn't walking into a trap.  
So he grinned right back.  
"I just thought your skinny ass might be afraid of Juvie." He tried to sound as rough as he normally did, but somehow his voice wasn't working as well as he expected. Either he really was afraid or he was just anxious to hook up with this kid again. Judging from the state of Mickey's pants, the latter was more likely.  
Ian Gallagher just laughed. He seemed to have thought along the same lines as Mickey had, because he lifted up his shirt slowly.  
He took a step towards Mickey, clearly hoping that the older boy would kiss him, but Mickey turned away. "I already told you-" he began, but the kid seemed to have gotten the hint. It wasn't that Mickey thought that fucking the kid was less gay than kissing him, it was just that he didn't really want to kiss him. They weren't boyfriends, hell, they'd only hooked up twice before. So it wasn't like it had to be expected or anything. Mickey just didn't feel comfortable kissing him.  
That didn't mean that he didn't feel comfortable with the rest of it.  
So he let the Gallagher kid suck him off, and then they fucked, and then he headed out. There was no sense staying to chat, really. They weren't friends. They had very little in common except Mandy, and Mickey wasn't in a mood to talk about his sister, so they didn't talk at all. They just fucked.  
The Gallagher kid was still shirtless when Mickey was ready to leave, so he had to run out of the jungle gym pulling his shirt on as he went in order to catch up.  
All in all, Mickey was pleased. They had found a spot where no one would find them. Walking thirty minutes away was smarter than staying closer to home or going to places that he was familiar with where people might guess that he would go to. No, this was a safe spot. Sure, it was illegal, but this was a Gallagher and a Milkovich. That kind of thing would never bother them.


	2. Chapter 2

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A few days later, they made plans to meet up at the same playground. Ian arrived five minutes early, as was his MO. He was always early, which was probably a product of his ROTC training; it had been drilled into him never to be late.   
But twenty minutes after he arrived, there was still no sign of Mickey. He glanced at his phone again. He kicked at the dirt, threw rocks, pulled weeds, just tried to keep his hands busy while he waited.  
Eventually, he could see Mickey approaching and stilled his movements. He didn't want Mickey to know that he'd grown antsy waiting.  
"What took you so long? I thought you weren't coming." He said. He tried to sound nonchalant, as though this didn't bother him, but he knew immediately that he had failed. He sounded too much like he cared.  
Mickey scoffed. "Don't be so needy. I told you I was coming, that means I'm coming. Now let's get this thing going."  
As had become the trend, they fucked without talking much before or after. They joked around a little bit while they were undressing, sure, but they didn't have much to talk about anyway.  
Ian wasn't really bothered by that, though. He really liked their little rendez-vous - the sex was great, Mickey was hot, and he was beginning to actually like the guy. He wished that they talked a little more because it would have been nice to feel liked, but he would take what he could get.  
When Ian lit up a cigarette after they had finished, Mickey grabbed it and took a long drag. Ian was sure for a while that Mickey would leave him there alone, but Mickey surprised him. Rather than leaving, Mickey just kept sitting next to Ian, sharing the cigarette. They lit up another, and another, and the time flew by. Ian was thrilled that they were sort of hanging out - it made this feel at least a little bit less like a booty call and a little more like a friends with benefits sort of thing. Not that they were even talking, but at least Mickey had stayed.  
They smoked in silence until Mickey turned to Ian and spoke up. "I feel like drinking, so I'm gonna take off." Ian nodded. Mickey stood up and started to walk towards the playground's exit without looking back. Again, Ian ran to catch up to them. As they walked off, they traded drunken stories, and Mickey joked about how drunk he and his cousins had been the night before. Ian was thrilled that suddenly they really were talking like friends.


	3. Chapter 3

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Mickey's voice echoed around the playground as he and the Gallagher kid approached the jungle gym they'd visited twice before. Mickey at least was a lot less nervous here than he had been the first time that they had approached, when he had feared getting caught.  
He passed Gallagher the bottle of whiskey that he had brought with him. Gallagher took a big swig before Mickey took it back and did the same.  
"No, Kash totally didn't see that. You shouldn't steal so much from there, Mickey. One of these days, it's going to get you into trouble."  
"Oh yeah? What are you going to do to me?"   
"What?" Gallagher asked. "I could take you," he told Mickey. He playfully shoved Mickey over a bit. Mickey doubted that, and really thought Gallagher ought to be taught a lesson for doubting a Milkovich.   
Mickey wrestled Ian to the ground, expecting the boy to submit, but it seemed like he had been ready for the attack. Before Mickey could get any good position to declare success, Ian had flipped them over and was lying on top of him. "You were saying?" he asked.  
"Damn, Gallagher, this is hot."  
It seemed that they were both really turned on, so before much time had passed, they were hooking up as always. The one difference was that while Gallagher almost always went down on Mickey, Mickey had never before returned the favor. Although they had been fucking for a few weeks, Mickey had been hesitant to do that, and Gallagher had never once complained. Mickey got the feeling that Gallagher actually liked blowing him. But this time, Mickey felt like it was only fair, and besides, he wanted to try it at least once.   
It turned out that Mickey did like it, so he wasn't entirely doing it because he felt like he should. He never would have guessed that it would be enjoyable, but life was full of surprises.  
After they had finished up, Mickey took out a cigarette and lit it as Gallagher took another drink from the bottle.  
"What was that?" Gallagher asked with a smile playing at his lips.  
"What, are you complaining?" Mickey asked, surprised. He had thought that he'd done a decent job. He'd gotten Gallagher off that way at least.  
"Not at all, that was just new." Mickey didn't reply, so Gallagher went on, "and it was pretty good, where'd you learn that?"  
"Pretty good? What are you talking about, pretty good? I'm a fucking genius."  
Gallagher laughed and grabbed Mickey's cigarette. "So will I get a repeat performance?" he asked.  
Mickey glanced at him. He was perfectly willing to do that again, but he wanted to dangle the kid a bit.  
"Maybe."  
They took off a little while later, leaving the ground littered with cigarette butts and the bottle that they had finished. Mickey felt nice and pleased with himself, as he always did after he got fucked by Gallagher.


	4. Chapter 4

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Ian approached the park slowly. For whatever reason, he had felt drawn here even though he knew that Mickey wasn't coming.   
He wasn't sad exactly. Mickey wasn't dead or anything, just in jail. He was there because he had been unwilling to admit that he was gay, which was a pretty stupid reason to go to jail in Ian's opinion. Kash had caught them doing it in the store, and gotten pissed. Eventually, he had shot Mickey. Because Mickey wouldn't admit that he was gay, Kash got away with it and claimed self-defense even though Mickey hadn't done anything to attack him.  
Rather than coming because he was sad, Ian was at the park because he felt hollow. They weren't in love, or boyfriends, or anything like that, but he still missed Mickey a lot.  
Ian sat down on the swing that faced the jungle gym. Staring at the spot where they had done it a couple of times really wasn't helping, but he didn't know what else to do. No matter where he went, Mickey was in the back of his mind. Even though he didn't feel guilty for what had happened - it really wasn't his fault - Ian wished that he had done something different. If they'd just decided to do it somewhere else, then Ian would probably be fucking Mickey's brains out right about now. As it was, Ian just spent a lot of time wishing that they were together.   
He wondered if Mickey felt the same way about him. It seemed like he was into Ian, at least enough to hook up with him a lot, but would he miss Ian? Was he just as lonely as Ian was?  
Ian suddenly wondered if he should go visit Mickey in jail. He had just gotten Kash to put money in Mickey's commissary account, but if there was anything else that Mickey needed, Ian could get it for him then. Mickey wasn't exactly the type to ask for help, but maybe if it was offered, he'd take it.   
Ian felt guilty that he hadn't thought about visiting Mickey before. They weren't in a relationship, but they were friends, and that was reason enough for a person to go visit someone in jail, right? No one had to know what was really going on. Mickey probably didn't get many visitors, so he was bound to appreciate the chance to see someone like Ian.   
Ian's spirits had lifted quickly. Suddenly he wanted to run over to the county jail so that he could get to Mickey as soon as possible.   
Of course that was an unreasonable idea, as the jail's visiting hours probably did not extend past 8:00 PM and it was already well past 1:00 in the morning.   
But that didn't stop Ian from bolting out of the park. He walked quickly back the way that he'd come, excited that he had a plan that would bring him closer to Mickey, if only for a moment.


	5. Chapter 5

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Mickey hadn't been to the playground in months. He'd actually sort of missed it. It was more than just the sex; he missed that he could be himself here. He didn't have to worry about hiding here.   
Mickey'd had mixed feelings when the Gallagher kid had come with Mandy to pick him up from jail. On the one hand, it was stupid of him to have come. Mandy could have figured out what was going on, and if that happened, Gallagher was a deadman. There was no way that Mickey would forgive him if they got outed. If any of Mickey's other family members found out, Gallagher was probably in even more trouble - Terry would cause them both pain before he got around to killing them.   
But at any rate, he was glad that they were together here now. He had really missed the sex.  
After they finished, Mickey smoked while Gallagher talked.   
"Are you done yet? If I wanted to listen to bitching, I would have stayed home with my sister." But he smiled to himself a little bit. Gallagher bitching was a lot easier to deal with than Mandy bitching. He could pretend to ignore Gallagher, but in reality this wasn't anywhere near as annoying as what he sometimes had to deal with at home.  
"Fine. Another round?"  
...  
Two hours later, the pair finally left. Mickey was feeling pretty satisfied and he was pretty sure that Gallagher was too, from the grin on his face. It had been a pretty successful reunion, and they had plans to go again the following night.   
"Ahhhhh!" Mickey called out into the night. The night had been incredible, and the sex had somehow been even better than he remembered.   
Gallagher checked his pockets but came up empty. "Wow, I've been away from my phone for a while. I hope no one needed me."   
Mickey knew that as always, no one would notice that they were even gone. Even when they disappeared for a few hours, it was never questioned. "No one missed you, I can promise you that."  
They both just grinned as they headed out.


	6. Chapter 6

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Ian and Mickey hadn't done anything in days, and Ian was really starting to feel it. Sure he had gone a long time without doing anything while Mickey had been in jail, but after he'd gotten out of jail, they'd hung out a lot.   
But it had been a few days since Mickey had been shot in the ass, therefore it had been a few days since Ian had so much as gotten a bj.   
It was rough going while they tried to have sex, but eventually they decided that it wasn't going to work. Mickey was in pain no matter which position they took and who topped.   
So they each went down on the other and decided to call it a night as far as sex was concerned. They would have to wait a few more days before anything else happened.   
"Sorry if I hurt you." Ian said. Mickey had done quite a bit of wincing all night.  
"You didn't hurt me, the fucking bullet hurt me...now stop looking at me like that."  
Ian felt bad though. Mickey had only been shot because Ian had suggested that they go to Ned's place. If it weren't for Ian, Mickey never would have been hurt.  
Mickey turned towards him, and from where they sat, their heads were close together. Ian leaned in to kiss him.  
"Fuck off. I'm not doing that every day. I'm not your fucking boyfriend."  
Ian couldn't help but smile though. Somehow, by some crazy stroke of luck, Mickey had kissed him right before he'd been shot. He'd gone out of his way to kiss Ian when he knew he wouldn't be getting anything for it. It wasn't like they could just have sex in the van while Mickey's cousins loaded in stolen property. No, Mickey had kissed Ian because he wanted to.  
Ian hadn't necessarily expected Mickey to kiss him when he'd moved for it. It would have been nice if it happened again, but rejection here wasn't the end of the world.  
Mickey may have pushed him away and acted as though it would never happen again, but Ian still kept smiling. Even if he only got what he wanted once, he still got it. And nothing could ever take that kiss away from him.


	7. Chapter 7

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As they walked up to the park, Ian laughed and punched Mickey on the shoulder. "So you invited me to stay the night and yet we still end up here. How's that?"   
Mickey shook his head, feeling a little awkward. Sure they could have stayed home, but he had thought that coming out here might be nice.   
"I dunno, it's...it's a nice night out. Thought it might be nice to go outside under the stars, you know?"  
"I'll make you see stars..." Ian had the single cockiest grin on his face that Mickey had ever seen. Mickey knew that Ian was right, of course, that they didn't need to be out here (and he was also right that he could make Mickey see stars), but Mickey had just thought that it might be nice.  
"You know what I mean."   
"Is Mickey Milkovich turning into a sappy romantic?"  
"No, eh, fuck you, Gallagher."   
Gallagher. Ian. Whatever. He was just getting used to thinking of Ian by his first name, but he didn't feel ready to tell Ian that. It seemed...too intimate. That coming from a guy who'd had sex with Ian before, of course. But it was like kissing him. Mickey didn't mind it when it happened, but he didn't want Ian to get comfortable with the idea. They weren't boyfriends. Because of their situation, they could never be boyfriends. So he would keep on calling the kid "Gallagher," regardless of what he thought about him in his head.  
It was a long time before they actually fucked. They didn't stare at the stars or anything as fucking gay as that, but they just talked. Mickey had probably missed Ian as bad as Ian had missed him while Mickey had been in jail, but he wasn't exactly ready to admit that. They'd been back together for a few weeks, but then Mickey had been shot in the ass, which meant that they couldn't go as rough as they liked for a while.  
Now they were back in the swing of it and could fuck however and whenever they wanted, but they had all night so they didn't rush right into it. Mickey knew that sounded a little gay, so he wouldn't have said it out loud, but they had the time. A few months ago, he might have lied and told Ian that he didn't enjoy hanging out with him, but now if Ian asked, he would probably be honest. It was about more than just the sex.   
Mickey wondered if Ian knew that. Ian had a much easier time expressing his emotions that Mickey did, but Mickey had no idea how well his own emotions could be read on his face. He hoped that Ian felt appreciated, but he would never be able to say or do anything to make Ian feel that way. So he just had to hope that Ian would understand.  
Just before they planned to leave, Ian threw a handful of pebbles at Mickey, which made Mickey happy for whatever reason. Even though they were just playing around, they could relax and not worry about what other people would think. So he tackled Ian and they went again. In the end they didn't get around to leaving until almost 4:00 in the morning.   
"I don't think we've gone that long since I first got out of jail," Mickey said. And then he decided to throw Ian a bone. "And it was damn good the whole fucking time. You've still got it."


	8. Chapter 8

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Ian laughed through his cigarette at Mickey's impression of Segal from the movie that they'd watched the night before.   
It was hard to believe that it had only been a few hours since they'd been here last. When Ian had realized that he'd forgotten his watch at the playground, he'd worried that he'd have to go alone to retrieve it, or that Mickey would tell him not to go at all, but Mickey had actually agreed to go with him.   
So there they were, hanging out in broad daylight, for the whole world to see. Granted they weren't in their neighborhood, so it was safe to be together as much as they wanted, but it was still a little shocking.   
After Ian found his watch, they sat on the swings for a little while. There were no kids around, so classes must have been going on, but no one bothered to kick them out of the playground area. Ian's eyes kept darting over to the different spots here where they'd fucked - under the jungle gym, where Mickey had first blown him; on top of the slide, where he'd ridden Mickey until they started to slip and were afraid that they would fall off; and on pretty much every other surface in sight.   
They just sat and talked for ages, until Ian had lost track of time and the conversation had gotten so far from where it had started that neither of them could have listed all of the topics that they'd covered. It was a nice spot to just sit and talk.  
"Hey, what are you doing here?" a woman's voice called from the direction of the school.  
Okay, maybe it wasn't the greatest spot during the day.  
"Shit, run," Ian told Mickey, and they took off, heading back towards the Milkovich house. No reason to get in trouble. Ian felt a little guilty leaving his cigarette butt amongst the woodchips until he realized that he had done much, much worse here, which made him shake his head.   
"What?" Mickey asked as they ran.  
"If only she knew what we'd been up to there, she'd probably have a heart attack."


	9. Chapter 9

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Mickey wasn't entirely sure what had possessed him to come here to this old playground, but here he was at 4:30 in the morning, walking over alone. How was it even possible that he'd been here twelve hours earlier, smiling and laughing? That he and Ian had pretty much thought that the world was theirs for the taking?  
Everything had been so right, and now it was all fucked up.   
Mickey prided himself on the fact that he wasn't normally one to cry, but here he found himself crying at every thought that crossed his mind.   
It was more than just the physical pain, though there was a fucking lot of that. He was also pissed that his father had hit Ian. For Terry to attack Mickey was one thing; it had happened before, many times. For him to lay a finger on Ian was a completely different story. Mickey felt like it was his fault that Ian had been hurt. Even though he hadn't hit Ian himself, it was Mickey's stupid father who had beaten him.   
Ian would not have been hurt if he'd been with any other guy. Most other fathers might throw them out of the house, but at least they wouldn't beat their own kid or the guy their kid had been screwing.  
But not Terry, no, he had to beat them so hard they would regret ever having been born.   
And then there was what happened after they were beaten. Sure, he'd had sex with girls before, and Ian had known about it, but what Terry had forced Mickey to do was painful to think about. He'd had to bang some whore with Ian sitting there next to him. If Terry could at least have let Ian leave it wouldn't have been so bad. Plus, Ian hadn't been the only one watching; Terry had stayed too. The fact that Terry had watched them having sex was as embarassing, if not as painful, as the fact that Ian had been watching.  
Mickey walked over to the jungle gym ready to sit down, but was surprised to see a body lying on the ground. He must have been coming up quietly, because the person didn't seem to have noticed him. He started to back up slowly before a voice said "don't go away, stay here."  
Ian. Ian was here.   
Mickey wanted to run to him and hug him, but he didn't. As always, he had a hard time expressing how glad he was to see Ian.  
"What the fuck are you doing here, Gallagher?" he asked.   
"Same as you, probably. Needed to get away."  
Mickey nodded. "Sounds about right."  
He walked over, and sat down next to Ian after the kid had sat up.   
"Got any smokes?" Ian asked before Mickey said anything,  
Mickey checked his pockets, but for once he didn't have any.  
"No," he told Ian simply. As glad as he was to see Ian, Mickey wasn't really in a chatty mood. He was still pretty much in shock over what had happened with Terry.  
"He's sick," Ian began. "I can't believe he did that. I want to-"  
"Stop," Mickey warned.   
Ian was silent for a long moment. "What? I can't dis that disgusting piece of trash? He attacked both of us! Just because he's your father doesn't mean that he can do this to you! We should get him. He should rot-"  
"Gallagher, enough!" Mickey said, louder this time. "I'm sorry that he hurt you, I really am. But there's nothing we can fucking do about it."  
"What the fuck, Mickey? You don't want to go to the cops with this shit?"  
"The cops? Who do you think we are, the fucking Brady Bunch?" Mickey was shocked that Ian would even consider going to the cops. He didn't know Terry well enough if that was his plan. "And then what will you do when he gets out and comes after you? Or before that, when he gets my cousins to go after you for him?"  
Ian was silent. Apparently he hadn't thought of that.   
"Well we've got to do something!" he finally declared, as though there was something that could be done to save the day and make everything okay again.  
"Like what, smartass?"  
"I don't know, we could-" Ian began, but Mickey didn't let him finish.   
"Just drop it, there's nothing we can fucking do. He's got our asses."  
Ian looked angry and stood up.  
"We've got to stand up for ourselves."  
"Yeah you go do that. Good luck."  
"Fuck you."  
Ian stormed off in a huff.  
Mickey was devastated, but he didn't follow. He wished that he could run over and make things better, but there was just no way to do that. Terry had the upper hand now, and there was no way to get any power over him. There never had been, in Mickey's experience, and there probably never would be.   
So they would just have to bend to his will. Mickey would have to follow his father's orders, regardless. It would hurt, saying goodbye to Ian, but it would be for the best. Mickey had no chance of a happy life with some guy, but Ian did. Ian's family didn't care that he was gay, so if he were to move on to someone better and get away from the fucked up Milkovich family, his life would be okay.   
Mickey found himself crying even harder at that thought. He didn't want Ian to move on, but he didn't want him trapped anywhere near Terry.   
Mickey really didn't know what he wanted for himself or for Ian. All he knew was that he wouldn't get his way no matter what, Terry would see to that.   
But as he sat on the ground staring into the darkness, it dawned on him that he would be doing everyone a favor by staying away from Ian. As much as he didn't want to, every single person would benefit if they just kept their distance. Terry wouldn't be mad, Mickey wouldn't be beaten, Ian would be...well, he'd be safer.   
So Mickey looked around and jumped up. He would never come back here, because this was his and Ian's spot where they came together. He wouldn't come back alone.  
Mickey was still crying when he finally walked away.


	10. Chapter 10

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Ian went back the next night, hoping that he would run into Mickey again. He wished that he had just stayed to talk, but the way that Mickey had refused to talk about what happened or to even think about getting back at Terry had been upsetting. What Terry had done was wrong, and Mickey didn't seem to see it that way.   
Ian found himself tearing up thinking about what had happened. Mickey had tried to help him, hell, he'd pulled Terry off of Ian. But now he would take a lot of beatings for what had happened.   
Ian was crying for both of them at once.  
Mickey was in a worse spot, because he had to live with Terry, but Ian wasn't exactly thrilled by his own situation either. He was pretty scared of Terry even if they didn't live under the same roof. And as stupid as it sounded, he didn't want to lose Mickey.   
Ian rocked back and forth on the swings for ages while he waited for Mickey to hopefully show up. Of course Mickey hadn't responded to his texts or calls all day, but their conversation the night before hadn't ended well. Surely Mickey would want to talk about what had happened at some point.  
But as Ian sat for a while, he started to get more and more dejected. At 2:00 in the morning, he decided that Mickey probably wasn't coming.   
Ian knew that Mickey cared for him, but he didn't know what would happen going forward. It was hard to say what Terry would do to Mickey. Ian was pretty sure that he wouldn't kill him, but short of that, he had no idea. Terry had already beaten his son up pretty bad and forced him to have sex with a prostitute, but Ian didn't have a sense for what would be next. More beatings? More sex til he turned straight? He wouldn't kill his own son, right?  
Ian just really hoped that Mickey would show up. Regardless of what Terry would do in the future, Ian wanted to make sure that Mickey was okay. Ian needed to talk, and he didn't have anyone else to talk to. He didn't want to go to anyone in his family, and his closest friends were Mickey and Mandy. Since Mandy wasn't an option, Ian really just wanted Mickey to show up or answer his texts so that they could talk.   
It wasn't like Ian could just show up at the Milkovich house; Terry would beat the shit out of him. No, Mickey would have to come to him. Ian just hoped that happened soon.


	11. Chapter 11

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Mickey was getting married. He couldn't really get his mind around that idea, even though he had known that it would happen for a few weeks. The whore he'd been forced to bang had gotten pregnant, and somehow he was being declared the father.  
The baby just as likely belonged to any other guy in the South Side, but that didn't matter. Mickey knew that his marriage had absolutely nothing to do with the baby. He was just being punished for being gay. His father Terry was just trying to do everything in his power to get him straight, and this was just another step.  
Mickey hadn't planned on ever returning to the playground where he and Ian had come to fuck so many times before, but the place he was getting married was so close by that he hadn't been able to resist. He told them that he was ducking out for a smoke, but really he crossed the street and walked down the block and he was back in his happy place. Nothing bad had happened here, not really. Compared to every other place he'd ever been, this contained his happiest memories.   
Even when they'd just been sitting around talking or laughing, this had been a place where Mickey had always been able to be free to be himself.   
But now, in a few hours, he would be married.   
This was Terry's way of saying that he still owned Mickey, that he could still control him. Mickey had always known it, but this was proof, thrown out in front of the few people who knew what was going on, Ian included, that Terry would always own him.   
He stamped out his cigarette and started to walk away. Before he left, though, he turned back. He had a feeling that he'd be back here. As much as he had decided to distance himself from Ian, he figured that somehow he'd be back, or that they would be back together. Somehow he knew that this playground had not seen the last of them.


	12. Chapter 12

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Ian hadn't really planned to end up at the park, he'd really just wanted to go for a walk. But here he was, tequila in hand, walking alone at dusk in a park.   
Lip had told him to stay away from the wedding, and that had been his plan, but it turned out that the hall where Mickey was getting married was pretty damn close to their personal playground, which made him question his resolve.   
Ian took another swig from the bottle.   
How could Mickey do this? He was throwing his life away and marrying some whore.   
More than anything, how could Mickey do this to Ian? Sure, Terry was an abusive jackass, but Mickey needed to do something for himself for once in his life. And he needed to do something for Ian. Ian was absolutely positive that Mickey cared about him, so why couldn't he act on it? Why couldn't he stand up for their relationship? He didn't need to be out and proud, he just needed to stand up to his father and not get married to some woman.  
Ian started pacing. He couldn't think of much that he would be able to do to stop the wedding. He could probably go talk to Mickey, but it might not come to anything. They weren't in a relationship, not really, so it wasn't like Ian would have much of a chance to appealing to Mickey based on the idea of their future together. Mickey didn't seem to think that they even had a future together.   
Ian didn't see it that way. He still felt like they needed their chance, and that it might work out if Terry would just step the fuck out.  
But there was no telling Terry to fuck off. Ian might not have been as scared of Terry as Mickey was, but he was still scared of the man. Most of their neighborhood was, after all.   
The only way that Ian could figure to appeal to Mickey was to remind him of what he was missing. And Ian knew that Mickey would be missing it a lot - maybe enough to call off a wedding.


	13. Chapter 13

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It was a few days before Mickey ended up being back at the playground, but it was still a lot sooner than he had expected to return.   
He had never thought that marrying Svetlana would cause a problem for him and Ian. He had thought that everything would just go on as it always had. Why wouldn't Ian just let it go? Why did anything have to change?  
But Ian clearly hadn't seen it that way. For whatever stupid reason, he'd decided to be a little bitch about the whole thing. He had been upset, and Mickey hadn't really understood why.   
But then he'd decided to go and enlist - why would he do a stupid thing like that?   
Mickey had wanted to tell him not to go, he really had, but it just hadn't happened. He'd been too shocked and confused.   
Maybe Ian still wouldn't go. He'd said that he was leaving tomorrow, but would he really? Going to the army was a big fucking deal. It wasn't something to do on a whim. Why was Ian being so stupid?  
Mickey wanted to race over to the Gallagher house and stop Ian from doing anything. He wanted to pull Ian to him just to hold him for a moment, to let Ian know that he cared. But he wouldn't do that. If Ian was going to be stupid, he was going to be stupid on his own. Mickey wouldn't stop him.


	14. Chapter 14

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Ian had left the house super early in order to tour the town a little bit and store all of his happy memories. After all, he wouldn't be back here for years.   
He'd visited a few important places earlier, and last but not least he found himself at the playground. He smiled calmly, despite the fact that he was sad to go.   
He had made peace with the idea of leaving Mickey already. If Mickey had left him (which, by getting married, he pretty much had), Ian could do the same right back. He might not forget Mickey right away, but four years was a long time - he was bound to forget him at some point.  
It wasn't that he wanted to forget Mickey, exactly. It was more like he wanted to stop being crazy over him. He just wished that Mickey wasn't so important to him.   
And there was no way to get over Mickey while they were both still on the South Side. There was no way to ignore someone who was constantly nearby.   
So Ian would leave, and he was happy for it. Figuring a way around the age limit had been surprisingly easy, and now he could leave right away.  
He glanced at his watch - he had to leave within a few minutes in order to make it to the recruiting station on time.   
So he said goodbye to their spot. He wondered if he'd remember this place when he returned, or if it would even still be standing. It was likely that he wouldn't ever see it again, so he said goodbye, not just to Mickey, but to the swings, and the jungle gym, and the monkey bars, and everything else all at once.


	15. Chapter 15

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Right after Ian had left, Mickey had come out to the playground every day. It was the only thing he felt like he still had left of Ian. Sometimes he would make the long treck out there just to stare at the jungle gym for five minutes before he left. Other times he would stay for hours, just lying on the ground or sitting on the swings, thinking back to when they had been together.  
After the first week, he hadn't gone as much. He'd decided not to go at all, but he still found himself there every few days. Eventually he had been able to stop going more than once a week. He hadn't really let Ian go, but he had found other ways to feel like Ian was in his life. He had one picture of Ian, and he pulled it out every day, sometimes just to look at it, other times to imagine that he had Ian with him.   
He tried not to talk about Ian at all, but sometimes something would come up in conversation and he just wanted to mention the red-headed boy. It often happened with Mandy, and there would be sad, awkward pauses. Mandy may or may not have known why he was quiet, but she didn't try to speak over the silence. She knew that he was sad, and just let him be that way. Most other people didn't understand. They would talk or laugh when he was sad, and they just wouldn't notice that the most important person in Mickey's world was missing.  
Here, on the playground, there was no one to talk over the silence. There was no one to try to cheer him up, or think that it was weird that he wasn't talking or laughing enough. Here he could be sad without anyone noticing or caring.   
Mandy and Svetlana may have been the only people who knew why he was so upset, which was good. He didn't want anyone else to know. He wasn't getting over Ian like he would have wanted to, but at least there weren't a ton of people breathing down his neck about it.  
But why couldn't he get over Ian? He knew that he wouldn't see the kid for a few years at least, and that they'd probably be different people by then. For his own sake, Mickey wished that he could just forget that Ian was even alive. Forget everything that they'd shared. But he still looked at the picture, and he still came to the park, and he still thought of Ian most of his waking hours. He still wanted to tell Ian about the exciting things that happened in his life, or share jokes that he'd heard. He still wished that they could fuck like they'd used to, or even just talk. He'd never had fun with anyone the way that he had with Ian, and he wanted to get that back.  
But there was no hope.   
Every time that he realized that, Mickey felt hot behind his eyes. He tried not to cry, but usually did. Why couldn't Ian just come home? Why hadn't Mickey stopped him? There were so many questions, and no answers. Mickey just knew that he needed Ian back and that he had no power to make Ian return.   
There was no hope.


	16. Chapter 16

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It had been a long time since Ian had been at the playground - a very long time.  
Ian wasn't back because he was sad about Mickey, he just hadn't been entirely sure where to go first. In fact he wasn't sure that he wanted to see Mickey at all. He wasn't sure that he wanted to see anyone from his old life. He was done with Mickey ignoring him and fucking with his emotions. No, he didn't think that he wanted to go back to that. He wasn't going back with the rest of the Gallaghers, because they didn't understand him.   
The army hadn't really understood him either, which was why he'd decided to leave in the first place. They hadn't seen that what he'd done (borrowing a helicopter and some clothes) as funny the way that he had. So he'd left. But what did he have to come back to? A family that didn't understand.   
So he wouldn't go there. He knew that he could get a job somewhere, find a place to crash, find a new life.   
He roamed around the playground for a while, just thinking, but it wasn't nearly as nice there as when he had someone with him.   
Ian headed out determined that he didn't care about Mickey or his family. But a little part of him recognized that if the first place in all of Chicago that he had wanted to go was this particular playground, his spot with Mickey, that he did care about his old life, or parts of it. But oh well, fuck them. He'd go on without and just ignore this nagging sentimental bullshit. He didn't need to be ignored by some married closeted jerk. He could go on just fine on his own.   
So he would try to avoid thinking about that married closeted jerk. That was a lot to ask though, especially now that he was back in Chicago.


	17. Chapter 17

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Mickey swung back and forth.  
Ian was back in Chicago.  
That's what Mandy had said to him anyway.   
Ian.   
Ian was back.  
Mickey didn't know how to feel. On the one hand, this was Ian, the only person Mickey wanted to be with and the only person he was happy with. On the other hand, this was Ian, who had run off with barely a word goodbye because he hadn't gotten his way. That had been a bitch move and Mickey didn't like tht sort of shit. But still, this was Ian.  
Mandy had told him to go find Ian, and Mickey sort of thought that he might get some sort of sick thrill to be the first one to find Ian.   
But he was nervous to see Ian, since Ian had literally run away from him and enlisted in order to avoid him. Ian probably wouldn't want to see him.   
That was why Mickey had lied to Mandy and told her that he had shit to do but had gone to this park instead. He had a lot of thoughts to sort out. The first two were easy: Did he want to see Ian? More importantly, did Ian want to see him?   
Mandy had seemed confident that Mickey could bring Ian back, but what if that wasn't true? What if Ian would run away again?  
Mickey had been in a pretty bad spot after Ian had left. He was trapped in a loveless marriage with a baby on the way and a psycho prick for a father. Even when the man was in jail, he still scared the fuck out of Mickey.   
Now there was finally a glimmer of hope, but Mickey was scared to go after it. He was being a pussy, and he knew it, but could he really lose Ian again, before he even got him back?  
No, he wouldn't do anything yet. Ian would probably go back to the Gallaghers or they would go get him. It would be okay. Then Ian would come to him. Probably. Hopefully. Well, maybe. Then they could get back together, or as together as they could be given the circumstances.   
Yeah, Mickey would wait. He wouldn't do anything just yet.


End file.
